Honesty

The article that strikes me the hardest is Outspoken By: Alex Jabs. There are many people and changes in my life that related to the topic of this article. Alex Jabs describes her experience of coming out to her parents.

Initially, this reminded me of my boyfriend's grandma visit approaching closer each day. She wants to stay with us, in our crowed one bedroom apartment, on our skeleton of a futon. I think this is a ridiculous idea, because she could stay ten minutes away with his parents in the comfort of a spare bedroom. His grandma is a bible thumping, gospel singing, one hand raised Baptist. We are proud atheists. Our book shelves are striped with atheist topics and titles such as The God Delusion, God Is Not Great, and The Atheist Manifesto, as well as social topics like gay and lesbian rights, molestation, and philosophical topics like logic, truth, and justice. None of our interests could ever blend with the dogma of a Southern Baptist. He casually exhaled last night, "I guess we'll have to hide our books."

"No way!", I said.

"But you don't understand my grandma."

"And how could we ever understand each other if we never get to know each other?"

I went on to argue that she will love him unconditionally, if not because she is his grandma, then because it is a rule in the Christian faith. He is still hesitant, and I'm sure he'll find a way to avoid the confrontation. That's just not me. I've always told everyone in my family exactly what I thought, and yes, they think I'm a daffy, overly aggressive, "liberal", but big deal, at least we know each other.

To add to the drama, I'm pregnant!

I have my ultra-sound photos framed and hung on a wall in our living room. All of my family knows I'm pregnant, and they know that adoption is an option we're exploring.

None of his family knows!

When they come over, he hides the pictures! We have to become the "Ryan's family version" of ourselves for approval. But as Alex Jabs describes, it's more exhausting living a lie, than living your life. She says, "...I believe it would hurt me more not to have them in my life."

This is what I wish I could make him understand, but you can't "make" some understand, they have to come to understanding within themselves.

This article also inspired me to explore how I would feel about being the parent of a homosexual child. How should one react? How much information is too much information? How much do I want to know about my child's sex life?

I answered my own questions, when I told my dad about my pregnancy. It was difficult to tell him, and at first I couldn't figure out why it was so hard. Then it dawned on me, if he knows I'm pregnant, then he knows I HAVE SEX! Me and my father don't really talk about sex. That's never been a topic for us, and now here it is, there's no denying it. From this I decided I would never want to have closed subjects separating me and my child. I'm not saying I want every dirty detail, but I don't want that from my closest friends. I just don't want it to be some taboo, uncharted territory that we're forbidden to discuss. I want to be aware that my child is sexually active, so I can teach him/her about safety. So I can get him/her the health care they need. And so if something happened like pregnancy, assault, abuse, or an STD, I want him/her to be able to come to me for help and guidance.

My views are shifting, from the perspective of a child to a parent. Traditionally that would mean that the subjects of conversation would narrow, but I want to become more open, and embrace a more open life-style in my household.